This happened to me a few years ago. Was it a case of mistaken identity? Or could it have been a calling for a new role? It all happened at the Nadodne Pozoriste (National Theatre) where we were improving our culture with some Opera. At intermission we decided that we needed a good drink to....well we never need an excuse to drink :) Anyway we had just walked out of the Theatre when a random man approached me and asked "Would you like a drink downstairs at our Café?". To which I replied "Yes we would like a drink downstairs at your Café". I was amazed by this considering we were heading in that direction for that very reason. So I was expecting some sort of directions (which we knew) considering that this kind gentleman has asked and was going to provide us with this assistance. It was to my surprise when he asked us to follow him. I was now feeling important and was showing this by walking downstairs like some very important person. Everyone else on the other hand, was wondering what the hell was going on. It was only when we got to the bottom of the stairs, when one of his colleagues came running down signalling the likes of "Oi, its not him!" that we realised his mistake. He thought I was the French Ambassador! Now I am going to say this right now because if this guy ever reads this he will be extremely embarrassed again. This nice man conducted himself in a polite and professional manner. He just conducted himself in a polite and professional manner to some silly little Australian whose best French is "Par le vu anglaise?". Admittedly once we finally got our wine that the joking and humour started. And yes for the record this gentleman did manager to bring down the right French Ambassador. Apparently he was sitting right behind us and was one person away from the special attention first...me :)
All in all I feel I also conducted myself well as a special dignitary. So if anyone has a position for Ambassadors, I have experience already :) Allow me to tell you a story, of how a little Australian, against all odds, managed to sort out applying for a Serbian Drivers License.
In Serbia, they love their paperwork. Filling out a form and supplying relevant information just doesn't go far enough. Fortunately, thanks to a someone who appears to have gone through the ordeal before (http://www.expatserbia.com/once-youre-here/car-transport/421-drivers-licence), I was able to make a good start. In theory this is all you need to do: 1. Get your Drivers license translated to Serbian (I recommend Jasna Filipovic-Bojic, Sudski Prevodilac za Englski Jezik, on Svetogorska) - 1000 RSD per page 2. Do a medical - 2500 RSD 3. Show identification (obviously password works here) 4. Proof of residence - 700 RSD 5. Payment of Taxes - just under 9000 RSD It all sounds easy. Until you try it. Now translation of Drivers License is straight forward. And the medical not too bad (thankfully my beloved was with me to help with translations, thank you baby). The fun part began yesterday. Now I wonder down to the police station at Ljermentova. After a struggle to find where to go (somehow instinct, and some boning up on Serbian the night before) go me to the right place. I ask for a form to fill out for drivers license, 1st wrong move. However, they were kind to write (in Serbian) what is needed. It appeared all I needed was to write out some tax forms and make payment. So I thought about looking at what someone else was writing to help me on this, given everything was in Cyrillic (I wish to point out that I can read Cyrillic so I was good there). 2nd mistake. Looking more carefully what I needed to write was not what they were writing. After quite a few tax slips later I managed to hand in the tax slips and make payment. Now with confidence improving I returned to the booths and handed everything in. 3rd mistake. I did not have everything. I found this out after much ranting from lady at booth, and one phone call (sorry baby). Apparently the residency permit in my Passport was not sufficient enough to prove I am living here. So I had to jump onto a bus, and do much walking, to the police station MUP Savski Venac. Before that I stopped at my Agency (The Foreigner) where I obtained more tax slips (thankfully filled out on my behalf this time), and application for residency paper. I head to MUP Savski Venac and hand in my application. the lady there says to come back at 4pm. 4th mistake. Apparently I needed to return between 2 and 3pm. Which I discovered when I arrived, at 4pm. So after a few minutes of ranting and return home with steam coming out of my ears. I was given no choice but to abandon the day. So we get to this morning. I return to MUP Savski Venac and pick up my paper. Then start my rant again which just got blanked again (I should note that screaming at the police, at a police station, may not be the best idea given it won't take the police long to lock me up. thankfully it was not the case). So back on the bus to Ljermontova with fingers crossed that this time, they will accept my application. After much checking and debating, then checking again, then debating, then writing, some questions (in Serbian obviously), they told me to go to the photo booth where I got my photo taken. I doubt it will show my good side. After some working with the signature machine I was able to make signature. After a quick photocopy of my passport, I was given a piece of paper and told to return in 7 days to pick up my License. HURRAH!!!!! Anyway, if anyone needs to endure getting a Serbian License, hopefully my story, and my comment on the link provided in this blog, will help future followers so they will not have to endure the same trauma I want through :) After 2 weeks of fantastic Tennis in my beloved city of Melbourne, Serbia's answer to God, Novak (Nole) Djokovic, has reclaimed the Australian Open for the record breaking 5 time (making me a very happy man over in Beautiful Belgrade). And what a final it was. Nole and Andy Murray had one hell of a fight where if one player got the ascendency, the other will take it away. Nobody had control of the Final... until the 3rd game of the 3rd set. This is where Nole (and Rafa, and that Swiss twat Roger) stands apart from Mr Murray. OK, Andy is up a break at 2-0 in the 3rd set and playing the best Tennis of his life. Andy fires a shot that has Nole collapsing to the ground and "appearing" to have a leg injury. Now Andy, upon seeing this, should have thought about stepping up a gear and finishing Nole off, injured or not. But no, Andy sees Nole down and seemingly out and must have given himself the thumbs up and though "yeah I've got him now. Lets play about here". End result, Nole wins 12 of the next 13 games, and therefore the Championship.
Now Mr Murray, if the Andymurrayometer.com site was still active, you would most certainly be 100% Scottish today. What the hell were you thinking you stupid boy? If you want to win more than your pitiful 2 Grand Slam titles, you concentrate on yourself and stop losing your mind. Nole, without even trying, defeated you in the mind. Then defeated you on the court. But I should be writing to give full praise to our great Serbian sporting hero. So, in honour of Mr Nole, we all raise our Rakija to our Champion... Ajde Nole :) !!!!!!!!! Yesterday we celebrated Australia Day here with our Serbian friends. I will not go into details about what Australia Day is. But for us Ozzies its a day off work and another good excuse to drink. Unfortunately the day off part did not apply here. But we still got into the spirit of drinking late in the day.
Given Oz Day falls amongst the Slavas (I will explain them later), it was decided by my great Serbian friends, that Australia Day should become a Slava also. The only difference is we will require a Barbie and given it is about 2 degrees outside, any Australian themed Slava will require quite a few heaters (although the Beer will remain cold). However, the whole day (well evening) was still performed in good spirits (well Beer and wine mainly), and relations between Australia and Serbia continue to remain at excellent levels :) Thankyou all who showed up and enjoy my Australia Day :) In Serbia, Novak Djokovic (better known as Nole, that's Nol-e), Worlds #1 Tennis Player and great guy, is God here. Unfortunately, there rest of the world has not been educated to this fact. So I will prove without any doubt, that Nole is indeed God. And I will prove this with logical mathimatics.
Let us assume that each letter of the English alphabet is a number, corresponding to the letters position in the alphabet (where A=1, B=2, C=3,.....Z=26). for God we will have: G=7 O=15 D=4 So 7+15+4=26 Now let us calculate the digits of our result to come to a single digit. So 2+6=8 Therefore God=8 Now we calculate Novak's nickname of Nole. So: N=14 O=15 L=12 E=5 So 14+15+12+5=46 Calculating on digits of total we get 4+6=10. 1+0=1 So Nole =1. Given that Nole is Worlds #1 Tennis Player in the world we can confirm that Nole is indeed #1 (As his other nickmname in Serbia of No1e proves). Now, Nole has won 7 Grand Slam titles: 4 Australian Opens 2 Wimbledon Opens 1 US Open So Calculate Nole's Tennis ranking and number of his nickname with the number of Grand Slam titles, we get: 1+7=8 Given that 8=8, Nole is therefore God! I hope everyone now sees the light pledge your undying support for our beloved Nole. And forget your blindness of supporting that devil in disguise, Roger Federer. I like desserts. There is no denying it :) In Serbia the desserts here are TOTALLY AMAZING! If I could live in just desserts, then I will be.......well fat for one. Anyway, let me share an interesting story with one such dessert over here. This happened on my 1st visit to Belgrade (almost 10 years ago now). We were at a restaurant called Tri Sesira (3 Hats) where we had a fantastic meal. Then it was time to make orders for dessert. It was at this point where I was introduced to the Tufahija (http://low-cholesterol.food.com/recipe/tufahija-bosnian-poached-stuffed-apples-445627). Lovely isn't it :)
Anyway, Tufahija, pronounced in English, sounds like "To fuck ja". So when my collegue Zoran turned to me and said "Tufahija", my reply is very instant: "To fuck you too!". Thankfully it was quickly mentioned that this was a dessert. So, not being one to pass up the opportunity to have a dessert that sounds offensive in the English language, I made an order for a Tufahija. Of course the jokes start flying over what turned out to be a very delicious dessert, until this Tufahija was delivered. I was close to bursting out laughing when the waiter came up and said "Tufahija?", but when my good friend Shone replied "No! To fuck him". I was on the floor:) And who says Serbians do not have a sense of humour? :) All I can say is do try Tufahija....if you can keep a straight face asking for it :) Over the weekend we enjoyed an evening in Sunset Bar, Which is located on Lake Ada, just a few kilometres from the City Centre. Despite temperatures dropping to -15 over the new year (although warming up to a respectable 2 degrees by the weekend), Ada is definitely worth a visit at any time of the year. But I digress. Sunset Bar is one of my 2 favourite places to visit on Ada. The fire was burning nicely, the food was excellent, service was excellent, and even the 4 Martinis drank were excellent. Music was loud and modern. So all in all a good time was had by all.
For anyone who wants to enjoy a good night out as we did, then try Sunset Bar (http://www.sunset.rs/). Uzivajte I prijatno :) Its time to start partying, Serbian Style. That means lots of eating, drinking, and enjoying the greatest company the world has to offer, Serbians :) So everyone have a Happy New Year, and look forward to more blogging from this little Ozzy living life in Serbia. Srecna Nova Godina Svima:)
Ahhhh Rakija. Rakija, Rakija, Rakija. Anyone fancy a drink? ;)
Anywhere you go in Serbia you will see old men outside a cafe, groups over lunch, and people having breakfast, all drinking a shot of Rakija. A quick description of Rakija is as follows: 1st mouthful will leave you short of breath, and unable to speak anything that will resemble a language. Subsequent mouthfuls will feel smooth as silk. Now there are many flavours of Rakija (Apricot, Quince, Pear, Apple). But the best Rakija is most certainly the home grown brew which is most certainly made with love, care, and a few bottles for testing :) Rakija is often known as the "cure for everything". Which is indeed true, as I have always felt better after one shot :) |
AuthorI am Australian living in Serbia. This site is devoted to all things Serbian, even everything that I write. wish me luck :) Archives
December 2015
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